I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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