i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
