i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
