Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
