So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
