I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
