I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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