I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
