Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
