I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
vagina is talking i cant
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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