this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
