now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is wine microwaveable?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
