so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
