somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
