I just threw up on my dentist
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
