Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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