did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
