Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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