I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
honey bunches of taint.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
