Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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