god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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