he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
