Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
