yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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