Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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