when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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