Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
