dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
