you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
