Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
