Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
