Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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