fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
