I want to stick my p in your. b.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
