Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
