So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
only if we run a train.
done.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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