R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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