Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
where am i from again
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
