Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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