I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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