and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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