I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
