He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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