the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
