once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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