he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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