You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
