Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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