Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
