i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there was a trapeze. enough said
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
