can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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