Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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